Is it Time for a Strategic Offsite for Yourself?

A different point of view is worth 80 IQ points. - Alan Kay

Many years ago I was feeling lost and looking for something to bring clarity to my life’s path and my purpose so I decided to live in a Zen temple for a month. While I was there I participated in a week-long sesshin. It was intense and difficult. It entailed sitting in Zazen (meditation) for 9 hours a day, doing physical labor and confronting not only the physical pain of sitting still but many emotional and mental aspects of myself that got stirred up to the surface where I could see them. As hard as it was, the experience was so powerful that I’ve made it a priority since then to take time away for spiritual growth and self mastery. One of the ways I’ve done that is through quarterly silent retreats. Over the years my practice has become less formal and more relaxed but I still find some basic structures (which I’ll describe below) to be important. For some, spiritual growth and business growth are two different things. For me these two are not only aligned but deeply integrated. Regardless of whether your motivations are spiritual or practical, I highly recommend this life changing tool to increase clarity, purpose and alignment of your purpose with your path. 

The strategic offsite (for you)
In this recent study by top executive recruiting firm, Egon Zehnder, CEO’s realize it’s essential to expand their capacity to be self aware. And other research suggests that self reflection is the key to building this awareness.

To make this a habit, I recommend that once a quarter, go away for a few days. Being physically away, outside your home and typical surroundings, makes it easier to step outside and notice habitual ways of thinking and working. It encourages you to think bigger, to look at life from a wider lens and gain a fresh perspective. It’s your own strategic offsite, with ample space and time to reflect.

I sat in awe of this California coastline

Location matters
For me, the physical place has a dramatic impact on this process. To think expansive thoughts I do best with an expanded view, high ceilings, fresh air. I find it much harder to think outside the box if I’m indeed sitting in a small or stagnant box. In my most recent trip, I was on the California coastline and I spent hours staring out into the distance, catching an occasional glimpse of vertical spray on the ocean surface from whales. I let myself daydream and become hypnotized by pelicans floating on the wind. Before you choose a place, think about times and places that you were calm or awake or alive and consider what conditions would be most supportive for you.

Minimize distraction
I recommend being mostly if not entirely offline, silent and unreachable during this time. This is a luxury not everyone has. By minimizing conversations with others and avoiding distraction there’s no place to go but within. Yes, it can be uncomfortable at first but even extroverts have done it and survived! If this sounds daunting, I recommend attending a guided group retreat as a first step. It becomes easier over time and clarity comes with time. I don’t always do a great job of maintaining the silence, and it can be frustrating when it doesn’t work. So be gentle with yourself. Set boundaries and experiment with this.

Get physical
Getting out and moving makes a big difference. I recommend starting the day with some gentle stretches and breathing exercises and incorporating a walk or hike during the day. Use your body to support your mind.

Here are some questions you might ponder:
Who am I? How am I evolving as a person?  
What matters most to me? What do I value?  
What preferences are driving me? 
Is my life and work aligned with what matters most?
If not, what needs to change?
What systems, structures, habits, processes do I need to shift in order to increase that alignment between what I’m doing and what matters most? 
What conversations do I need to start, stop or shift?  
Where am I on a much longer timeline? When do I need to be patient? When do I need to push?
Who might be able to assist me in the next chapter of my career? 
If my older, wiser self could speak to me now, what would she/he/they tell me? 

Some of the benefits
As a result of these ongoing offsites and silent retreats I’m more proactive, less reactive with my work. I have more clarity around my priorities. My confidence has increased, because stepping back helps me see how far I’ve come and some of the major milestones I’ve reached. I’ve redefined relationships and work agreements so that they truly work for me. In some cases this means letting go of projects or relationships that no longer align for me. In my most recent time away I realized it’s time to scale and increase support so I can take my work to the next level.
The results vary and aren’t necessarily incremental. Sometimes it can feel like a few steps forward and then a few steps back. Though I just shared some of the insights and benefits for me, sometimes these come in hindsight. So don’t expect the moon. And, if you discover one new thing about yourself or about how you’re showing up in a situation that has been troubling you, would it be worth it?  

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step 
How do you make time for yourself and life’s bigger questions?
When have you taken time out for self-reflection and what were the results?
If anything here sparks your interest, what’s one thing you could do to increase your self-reflection time? 

To have an increasingly clear and conscious impact, it’s essential to be intentional about who you are and how your life and work expresses this. Taking time out is one of the ways to get off the treadmill of life and be more awake and alive to the choices you are making.

How to Be that Zen Calm Leader - Be Proactive

Image by Evan Sharboneau

I often hear leaders say - how can I be more Zen in my leadership?

One assumption we often make is to assume there’s a magic switch that we can turn on or off. “I’m not centered. Yikes!” Flip a switch…”Now I’m centered.” As lovely as that would be, it’s unrealistic for two reasons. One, it’s never as black and white as that and there are variations in how present or centered we are. And two, if you’re trying to be more Zen - more calm, more clear and more centered - when that challenging moment is upon you, it’s already too late.

A lot of what happens in the moment can be anticipated in advance.

One way to cultivate more Zen in your leadership is to be proactive and strategic – know your self, know your triggers

Being proactive, stepping back and getting perspective - these three things can dramatically reduce spikes in your cortisol levels and help you be less frazzled in the moment.

Most people are not only busy, but they also confuse busy with productive. Habitual busyness often leads to lack of planning, poor choices and poor judgement. Cultivating presence is a conscious, strategic step that increases clarity. If you are always busy, frenetically busy, start saying no to anything that does not align with your key goals. Trim the fat in your calendar. Be ruthless. Polite and kind, yes, but ruthless about your focus and where your energy is to be aimed. Having better boundaries and saying no to things at both at work and at home is essential.  What percentage of time do you spend thinking strategically? How might you increase this by 1-5% each week? If you could get more done in less time it would be worth it, wouldn’t it?

Once you’ve made time for reflection, think back to the situations, events or people that typically cause you to lose your center. Triggers come, seemingly out of the blue, but even these follow patterns. Look for and become aware of your patterns.

It’s easy to become anxious or unbalanced when:
a. We’re in unfamiliar situations, people, places, events (people really underestimate how quickly and easily this happens).
When was the last time you were in a situation you’d never been in before?
What was new about it? How did you respond to this unfamiliar or uncertain condition?
What worked? What didn't?
What would you do differently if it happened again?

b. There’s a lack of trust – relationships that don’t have strong trust or conflicting styles and viewpoints.
When have you had to work closely with someone you didn’t trust or like?
What made it so difficult for you?
How did you find common ground? How did you consciously or unconsciously connect with that person? What worked? What didn’t?
What would you do differently if you were to work with them (or someone like them) in the future?

c. There are threats to your status, beliefs, sense of self
This takes a lot of self-awareness – definitely advanced work. (and it’s also linked to trust above)

When have you worked with someone who had a lot of power over you who was threatening in some way? When have long-held beliefs and your identity been challenged?
What went through your mind? How did you feel?
What was your body’s reaction? What enabled you to stay present?
What would you do differently if faced with the same (or similar) situation in the future?

d. Seasonal or project-based stressors are occurring – holiday season, back to school time, before or after time off, preparing for board meetings, an offsite, end-of-quarter, etc.

For some, back to school season or the holidays create an underlying build-up of stress.
For others it can even be more subtle, like the anniversary of the death of a loved one. Any or all of these can cause you to be off center without fully realizing it.
What seasons and stages in work or life are most stressful for you?
How do you know that you are off? What are the signs and signals that you are stressed?
When have you navigated some of these seasonal stressors with the most grace and ease?
How did you do it? Who or what helped to reduce the pressure and stress?
What could you do differently when faced with a particular seasonal stressor in the future?

e. Daily (“healthy”) routines that get disrupted.
We do our best to sleep well, eat well, exercise, etc…but what happens when we don’t and we can’t and we simply aren’t in control? What happens when even the very rituals that help sustain you are thrown off? I write this on a day that the power went out and I was dropped from a virtual meeting I was facilitating.
For a parent – the baby sleeps or doesn’t sleep. Or an aging parent or family member is needs unexpected care.
What happens when unknown or uncontrollable factors upset our continuum? This is when centering practice is most essential.
When was a time that you handled uncontrollable disruption well?
What were the factors that contributed to this? What might have been helpful that you didn’t do?
How will you know when it’s time to use that helpful thing in the future?

f. Unhealthy routines
Which of your regular routines may be hindering rather than helping your ability to be both awake and relaxed?
Do you check the news the moment you wake up – reading about the latest disaster and then start your entire day on your back foot rather than from center?  What daily habits help you stay present and calm? What daily habits take you away from center? What is one daily habit you might shift? How will you shift it? What could support you in making that shift? What might get in the way?  

Cultivating Zen in your leadership takes practice. It also entails being proactive, anticipating stressors in advance and maintaining perspective.
We invite you to pause…step back from life for a moment and take a conscious breath. Just doing that, right here, right now, is being more Zen in your leadership.