How to Escape the Busyness Trap

As we move toward the year's end and December holidays, you’re likely busy with end of year wrap-up and experiencing holiday hustle from greetings, gatherings, and gift giving. 70% of our clients consider late November - early December the busiest time of year. In the tech sector right now many are experiencing the uncertainty of layoffs or a decreasing stock price. So if you’re feeling busy or stressed you’re in good company. 

Here’s a gift you can give to yourself right now that takes mere minutes and is worth your time because the eye of the storm is when self awareness matters most.  It’s a gift of perspective. 

Though you’re busy… 
Your to do list is full of what needs to be done. 
Your state of being determines how you do it.
But what really matters is why you’re doing it all in the first place.
These 3 questions will help you pay closer attention to why and how you’re doing all that you’re doing right now.  

1. What is one of your top values? 

2. What’s one thing you can do to embody this value?

3. (Observe, ongoing) What changes as a result of your embodiment of that value?

Here’s an example:
Writing this piece in time for the holidays is what I’m doing.
1) I value grace/ease. It’s one why behind many choices I make.
2) I can embody grace and ease by softening my jaw, relaxing my forehead and releasing the tension in my shoulders. This is how I can approach what I’m doing.
3) I notice that as soon as I do this, I write the next sentence as if words were like water flowing through me. I’m still writing this piece. But my how just changed and now it’s just easier to do because my why is clear and ease is my focus, not the writing itself. 

A colleague tried this, here’s what happened:
A senior global tech leader didn’t realize how stressed she was until she nearly backed into someone while holiday shopping at lunchtime. She was quieter than normal and admitted that she was anxious about her job with the next wave of expected layoffs. But she still paused and gave this a try and here’s what happened:
1) She values impact. Impact is her why.
2) Pausing to remember that value was big. She realized that it’s not about achieving or accomplishing – though she’s very good at both. She realized she could embody impact by being still (deliberately patient, waiting, watching) when she would normally spring into action. Stillness and slowness become her how, even though it’s uncomfortable for her. But it’s kind of like surfing - waiting and watching for the next big wave to come rather than pushing and paddling for no reason.  
3) Observing herself as she paused, she describes a feeling of excitement: “I feel happy and my mind is now flooded with ideas, when before I felt blank.” As I observed her in conversation, her eyes lit up, her shoulders dropped. I felt energized in her presence. Of course she’ll find another opportunity. And being still - waiting, watching could be a key to how she’ll find it. 
 
Your turn, values
Identifying values is something we frequently do in coaching. So you may already know your top 3. But if you haven’t uncovered your values (in the past 3 years), go here or here to identify them. Both tests are free and take about 10 minutes to complete. If you’d like an even faster option, go here and pick one value that speaks to you right now.

Then,
What’s one thing you value? Choose just one. 
What are two ways you can embody this value? If you had to pantomime or act it out, how would your body express this value?* 
What do you observe as a result? How does your BEing (in the body) shift your DOing? 

*If you find yourself getting stuck here, you can reverse engineer the process by observing yourself doing the task. Let’s say it’s writing Christmas cards. While you’re doing that task, notice where you feel tension in your body. Maybe your wrist feels heavy. Imagine your value being infused into that heaviness. If your answer to question one is joy…imagine joy (if joy could act perhaps it’s lightness) in your wrist. Just for a moment. What happens next as you continue to write?

While there’s no escaping life and the stressors at any given time
We have a choice in how we meet those stressors. The process doesn’t have to be hard. It entails pausing to reflect and then taking one small but deliberate step at a time. One small step leads to one small shift which leads to even more shifts. Each step is something to build upon and celebrate. This is how you Access Alignment. This is what conscious leadership is all about.

If you like this concept but aren’t able to engage with it right now,
I invite you to bookmark this page for later…and when you’re ready to envision how you want to be in 2023, use this 3-step process to guide you.

Is it Time for a Strategic Offsite for Yourself?

A different point of view is worth 80 IQ points. - Alan Kay

Many years ago I was feeling lost and looking for something to bring clarity to my life’s path and my purpose so I decided to live in a Zen temple for a month. While I was there I participated in a week-long sesshin. It was intense and difficult. It entailed sitting in Zazen (meditation) for 9 hours a day, doing physical labor and confronting not only the physical pain of sitting still but many emotional and mental aspects of myself that got stirred up to the surface where I could see them. As hard as it was, the experience was so powerful that I’ve made it a priority since then to take time away for spiritual growth and self mastery. One of the ways I’ve done that is through quarterly silent retreats. Over the years my practice has become less formal and more relaxed but I still find some basic structures (which I’ll describe below) to be important. For some, spiritual growth and business growth are two different things. For me these two are not only aligned but deeply integrated. Regardless of whether your motivations are spiritual or practical, I highly recommend this life changing tool to increase clarity, purpose and alignment of your purpose with your path. 

The strategic offsite (for you)
In this recent study by top executive recruiting firm, Egon Zehnder, CEO’s realize it’s essential to expand their capacity to be self aware. And other research suggests that self reflection is the key to building this awareness.

To make this a habit, I recommend that once a quarter, go away for a few days. Being physically away, outside your home and typical surroundings, makes it easier to step outside and notice habitual ways of thinking and working. It encourages you to think bigger, to look at life from a wider lens and gain a fresh perspective. It’s your own strategic offsite, with ample space and time to reflect.

I sat in awe of this California coastline

Location matters
For me, the physical place has a dramatic impact on this process. To think expansive thoughts I do best with an expanded view, high ceilings, fresh air. I find it much harder to think outside the box if I’m indeed sitting in a small or stagnant box. In my most recent trip, I was on the California coastline and I spent hours staring out into the distance, catching an occasional glimpse of vertical spray on the ocean surface from whales. I let myself daydream and become hypnotized by pelicans floating on the wind. Before you choose a place, think about times and places that you were calm or awake or alive and consider what conditions would be most supportive for you.

Minimize distraction
I recommend being mostly if not entirely offline, silent and unreachable during this time. This is a luxury not everyone has. By minimizing conversations with others and avoiding distraction there’s no place to go but within. Yes, it can be uncomfortable at first but even extroverts have done it and survived! If this sounds daunting, I recommend attending a guided group retreat as a first step. It becomes easier over time and clarity comes with time. I don’t always do a great job of maintaining the silence, and it can be frustrating when it doesn’t work. So be gentle with yourself. Set boundaries and experiment with this.

Get physical
Getting out and moving makes a big difference. I recommend starting the day with some gentle stretches and breathing exercises and incorporating a walk or hike during the day. Use your body to support your mind.

Here are some questions you might ponder:
Who am I? How am I evolving as a person?  
What matters most to me? What do I value?  
What preferences are driving me? 
Is my life and work aligned with what matters most?
If not, what needs to change?
What systems, structures, habits, processes do I need to shift in order to increase that alignment between what I’m doing and what matters most? 
What conversations do I need to start, stop or shift?  
Where am I on a much longer timeline? When do I need to be patient? When do I need to push?
Who might be able to assist me in the next chapter of my career? 
If my older, wiser self could speak to me now, what would she/he/they tell me? 

Some of the benefits
As a result of these ongoing offsites and silent retreats I’m more proactive, less reactive with my work. I have more clarity around my priorities. My confidence has increased, because stepping back helps me see how far I’ve come and some of the major milestones I’ve reached. I’ve redefined relationships and work agreements so that they truly work for me. In some cases this means letting go of projects or relationships that no longer align for me. In my most recent time away I realized it’s time to scale and increase support so I can take my work to the next level.
The results vary and aren’t necessarily incremental. Sometimes it can feel like a few steps forward and then a few steps back. Though I just shared some of the insights and benefits for me, sometimes these come in hindsight. So don’t expect the moon. And, if you discover one new thing about yourself or about how you’re showing up in a situation that has been troubling you, would it be worth it?  

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step 
How do you make time for yourself and life’s bigger questions?
When have you taken time out for self-reflection and what were the results?
If anything here sparks your interest, what’s one thing you could do to increase your self-reflection time? 

To have an increasingly clear and conscious impact, it’s essential to be intentional about who you are and how your life and work expresses this. Taking time out is one of the ways to get off the treadmill of life and be more awake and alive to the choices you are making.

3 Critical Ways Leaders Increase and Access Alignment

Why Access Alignment, you ask? Aside from a love of alliteration, and a penchant for un-sexy brand names, I chose this name because it felt big enough to encapsulate three of the most important things we do:

1. Leading Purposefully: access alignment with your values
We continually witness and I’ve personally experienced how powerful it is to align purpose with path. When leaders align their values with their everyday actions:
- Everything falls into place.
- There is flow.
- Work can be done with greater ease, fulfillment and enjoyment.
- It’s not so heavy, burdensome or tiring.
- Impact multiplies.

2. Leading Fully as a Whole Person: access alignment with all parts of yourself
We know about IQ. We’re increasingly familiar with EQ and how this is essential for leading well. Very few understand or utilize SQ. In fact, what the heck is SQ?
SQ = soma (body) quotient. This is not even standard nomenclature yet but you’ve likely heard others touch on this untapped super power. Amy Cuddy, PhD taught us Power Poses. Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD explains how The Body Keeps the Score. And I learned from a decade of training in ZenBodytherapy® that our physical alignment - how we sit, stand and move - dramatically impacts how we think and feel. So increasing alignment physically and tapping into the brilliance of your body is something particularly potent. When you attune to all parts of yourself - head, heart and body:
- You connect more deeply with yourself, with others and the world around you.
- You increase empathy.
- You increase your capacity to be inclusive with others.
- It’s easier to create psychological safety.
- You know how to increase your own sense of safety in a world mired with triggers and trauma.
- You open doors and opportunities for yourself and for others.

3. Leading with Impact and Leverage: access alignment with others
When you’ve increased alignment within yourself, gaining alignment with others is a much easier, organic process. It’s far easier to craft a vision and embody it such that others are naturally drawn to it.
When you’ve done the groundwork of #1 and 2 above:
- You’re naturally more curious, humble, open and able to make adjustments or corrections when needed.
- You gain traction and influence.
- Generating or accessing alignment in your teams and in groups is easier and even exhilarating.
- Teamwork, collaboration, innovation, efficiency, and productivity soars.